Smitten
by Francesca Montag
Summary: Nostalgia takes the Doctor to a time he never thought he'd visit...not after the end of his Tenth life. Amy and Rory meet someone from the Doctor's past...but it isn't the Doctor this young blond has her eyes on.
1. Chapter 1

**Smitten**

"Brilliant!" cried the Doctor as he stepped out of the brightest blue police box anyone would ever see. It was raining and his companions trailed out of the box behind him.

"How, is _this_ brilliant?" emphasized the incredulous redhead as her maybe-sorta-kinda boyfriend wrinkled his brow in confusion while trying to balance the bright green umbrella above their heads against the beating rain.

"It's…London," stated Rory.

Amy smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek as she agreed, "Exactly. So, Doctor, what's so 'brilliant' about London?"

The Doctor strolled unhurriedly to a nearby sidewalk, paying no attention to the puddles that littered the street. Memories of autons, an explosion and a young blond girl flashed through his mind. His hearts beat faster in a different way than when he faced down Angels and Daleks. He hadn't felt them beat that way in awhile, but he tried to ignore their rhythm.

"Well, Pond, lots of things look ordinary that really aren't. Not all that's gold doesn't glisten and all that," he smiled back at them, "besides, some of the best chips right around that corner." The Doctor walked ahead of them, rain dripping into his hair. It did nothing to ruin his steady stroll toward said corner.

Amy and Rory watched him go, both looking drenched and miserable despite the umbrella and coats they were wearing. Rory turned to look at his more-fickle-than-usual girlfriend.

"The Doctor…eats chips?" it seemed too ordinary to be attached to the man who traveled the stars.

"Yeah, well," paused Amy as she tugged on his coat to follow the Doctor, "he is alien."

xoxo

The Doctor's impromptu walk landed them in front of a greasy chip shop – a few patrons sitting by themselves occupied stand alone tables. Amy couldn't believe that, compared to what she'd seen, the Doctor would think _this _was brilliant. She figured it simply added to his strange character and left it at that.

Besides, alien or not – bloke-wise, greasy food was forever a staple in their diets.

Without saying a word, the Doctor strolled in as if he owned the place.

_Nothing different there, _thought Amy.

He went directly to the counter to order their chips so Amy led Rory to a nearby booth. She sat down and slid over to make room for him which he quickly made use of. She wanted to look in the Doctor's direction, but could feel her boyfriend's (she felt a small, tiny really, guilty feeling at the pit of her stomach) eyes on her. Thoughts streamed through her mind involving the kiss that had taken place between her and the Doctor.

Well, the one she planted on him. Rather…aggressively.

_But, he didn't exactly throw me off at first, did he?_ she chuckled at the memory.

"What's so funny?"

She turned to look at Rory. Sweet, loyal Rory.

There was that guilt feeling pooling in her belly again.

"Nothing, nothing."

Before he could inquire further, which Amy just knew he'd do since he was doing that crinkly forehead thing he did when he was confused or extra pensive about something, the Doctor returned balancing 3 small steaming Styrofoam containers full of piping hot chips. His mouth was set at a pout.

"Wha-," she started before being (rudely) interrupted.

"They don't have them in newspaper," the Doctor whined, "they used to have them in newspaper."

Amy knew that he was answering her unspoken (interrupted) question, but it felt (and sounded) like he was talking more to himself than to her…uh, _them_.

The Doctor set down the containers and sunk into the seat across from them. He stared at the chips while Rory smothered his in vinegar and salt. Everything seemed very quiet around and between them. It unnerved her.

Amy took hold of the vinegar. Preferring them a lot less drowned, Amy sprinkled the liquid on her chips.

"Really Rory, I don't know how you can eat that, they're practically mush," she said it with a loving teasing tone that she was accustomed to using around him since they were kids.

Rory grinned at her, his smile shining with love and devotion, "Just the way I like them, you know that."

She smiled at him, getting lost in the brightness of his smile. Then, hastily, she remembered the Doctor. Amy looked towards him and was about to say something when the look on his face made her stop.

He was staring at Rory's chips like they were something from another world. Something else entirely. He had been raving about the chips but had yet to touch his own – preferring to stare almost wistfully at Rory's drowned ones.

"Doctor," Rory said, "are you all right?"

The words seemed to have broken whatever spell he'd been under. In its wake, however, was a different kind of look. If Amy didn't know any better, she'd call it…almost painful.

"Doctor?" she heard her voice quiver at the name.

"What? Oh, yes. Yes! I'm…I'm always all right," exuberance tried to find its way into his sentence, but was quickly lost.

Amy was about to argue with the Doctor when Rory's mumbling, due to his full mouth, derailed her thinking.

"What is it?" each word came out sounding annoyed. She tried to bite back the tone.

Rory rushed to swallow the lump of chips in his mouth. Wiping the grease off his lips with a napkin, he tried again, "I said, 'Think I'll get us a drink.'"

He reached to the back pocket of his jeans to his wallet when it suddenly slipped from his grasp. Amy heard it flop onto the dirty ceramic floor. She saw Rory begin to bend down when a voice…a young, _girlish _voice stopped him.

"I'll get that for ya' mate."

She was pretty. About 16 years old and covered in a bright pink top, purple zip-up and jeans. A bag the shade of a darker pink was slung across her chest. She radiated sunshine and youth. And something else.

She was also smiling. Brightly. The brightest smile Amy had ever seen.

And she was smiling down at Rory, handing him the wallet.

Amy felt a twinge of something funny in her chest. Her cheeks felt warm all of a sudden.

Rory was looking at the girl as if in a trance and he had yet to take back his wallet. Amy nudged his side hard with her elbow. That seemed to have brought him out of it.

"Uh, yes, tha-, thanks," he stuttered.

The girl placed her hands behind her back and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Amy heard a gaggle of girls waiting for her at the door of the chip shop. Why hadn't she noticed them before?

"Yea', that's all right," she kept on smiling that smile of hers.

Amy looked toward the Doctor, realizing that he had yet to interrupt the little exchange – something quite odd for him.

But if she hadn't been confused before, she was more than baffled when she saw the Doctor's face.

He was staring at the girl in a trance like Rory had been spun into, but it was different somehow. His eyes were shining, mouth agape and his hands, which were calmly placed on the tabletop before, were held rigidly against it.

"Doc-," she started, but was, again, interrupted.

"Shhh!" he suddenly snapped at her, his eyes flaring with something she had not seen before. Not ever. Amy, the girl who never obeyed, was instantly quiet.

The short interaction got the attention of the young blond who momentarily turned to look at the Doctor and Amy. Her smile dimmed, just a bit. Not as bright, but still sweet.

"'ello," she greeted politely.

"Uh, hi," Amy replied, confused by the entire situation and the reactions this girl was getting from her men.

She turned to look at the Doctor and saw that he couldn't really speak. His Adam's apple was bobbing up and down – a hint of an attempt at speaking. If Amy wasn't so (a) astonished and (b) a bit terrified at his reaction, she'd laugh and tease him.

Oh, but this was different and it scared her that she didn't know how or why it was different.

"Uh, don't mind him…he's a bit…off his game today really," she told her.

Rose looked at the Doctor with a raised eyebrow, and a smile of indifference. At Amy's explanation she turned to look at the redhead and smiled sympathetically before returning to Rory – who was still staring at her in wonder.

"My name's Rose," she said in a low voice, the smile back in full effect.

_Pretty name_, thought Amy….before she connected the dots.

_She's flirting with Rory!_ her thoughts practically screamed at her. The twinge she felt before flourished into something a bit larger.

"H-hi," Rory coughed, his grip hard on his wallet, "I'm Rory."

Amy cleared her throat loudly and jabbed his side again with her elbow causing Rory to jump.

"And this is Amy! And the Do-"

"SPOILERS!" yelled the Doctor suddenly, causing the three young humans to stare at him like he'd grown another head.

He tugged at his bow tie and then ran his hand through his thick hair – clearly avoiding the blonde's eyesight.

Amy wanted to tell him that he didn't have to worry since the blonde's amber eyes were not even on him – they were completely on Rory.

"Right, so, be off then. Bye – _Rory_," Rose said before pressing her tongue against her teeth and whirling around to walk away.

She reached her friends and looked back to Rory as they giggled around her. Then they rushed outside into the rain, pulling their hoods to cover up.

Once they were gone from sight, Amy looked back to the Doctor and Rory. Rory was still staring at the door Rose had gone through and the Doctor was staring incredulously at Rory. Not just surprised, but with a twinge of…anger in the depths of his eyes. Amy realized that his grip had not loosened on the table.

"Who," she paused for effect, "was _that_?"

"That was Rose," said Rory - a dreamy quality in his voice.

Trying hard not to be offended, though at what she didn't know, she said, "Yes, know that, _thanks _– Doctor, who is she? Don't tell me you don't know her…I see the look on your face."

The Doctor tore his eyes from Rory to glance at Amy. Something in his eyes told her to shut up, but she never listened to the look before.

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_Hello! I'm about to go back to classes tomorrow and wanted to post this today. I think I'll be updating each Monday. It's different than my other fics...I hope you like!_


	2. Chapter 2

_School's back in session, but I will keep up with this!_

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"Really, Amy, feel free to stop asking…" the Doctor trailed off.

They had left the chip shop, the rain reduced to a drizzle and Amy had not stopped asking who the blond in the shop was. Rory was following beside her, quiet.

"No, but really Doctor, _who _was that? Because the way you _both _reacted to her got me thinking that maybe she was some sort of alien or sorceress or…"

At that, the Doctor turned on his heel, causing both Amy and Rory to bump into him.

"_Rose_…is _no_ such thing," his voice was low and with an edge that briefly startled Amy.

After a pause, she continued, "So, you _do _know her," there was some pride at the discovery showing in her wide eyes.

_This Pond sure knows how to push_, he thought.

The Doctor glanced briefly at Rory who had also been startled by his sudden claim. He was back at being silent and his eyes were unfocused, his mind miles and miles away.

And Amy hadn't even noticed. The Doctor sighed before turning towards the Tardis again.

This ordinary stop was meant to drive them closer together, not further apart. Leave it to his luck that he'd placed them smack in the middle of Rose's teenage life.

He was stepping in puddles as he walked. He could have stepped in a crack to the core of the earth and probably wouldn't have noticed.

He'd just seen Rose. A young, beautiful, innocent Rose. A Rose from before he met her. It was a sight to see, that was for sure.

And she hadn't even _looked _at him.

Well, that wasn't true, she had looked at him once – but with a look of complete…lack of interest. The look was foreign. He remembered her looking at him as his Ninth and Tenth self with absolute adoration in her eyes. He hadn't known how to name the look at the time, but had realized later on what it was…

He sighed heavily, shaking his head. It didn't matter anymore. Feeling a pang of guilt in his hearts, he realized yet again, but for the first time in his current body, that he'd taken that look for granted.

And then there was the way she'd looked at _Rory. _

Instantly he chided himself for thinking the Pond's name with such…no, he refused to accept it. It wasn't Rory's fault how Rose had responded to him. It was no one's fault. How could he expect for Rose to look at him the way she'd always looked at him? She didn't know the Doctor when she was 16 years old. And even if she did, she didn't know _this_ face. This face that matched her age so much better than the previous ones did.

The Doctor chuckled without humor – now it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of something.

They would just leave this time and place and he'd let go of this particular Rose memory (as he liked to term them). He had enough (he would _never_ have enough) memories to store away for whenever he needed them.

Finally reaching the Tardis, the Doctor unlocked the door and barged in wasting no time in heading to the console – pressing buttons and lifting levers. Anything to get away from what was beyond those doors.

Amy followed him around the console, that look on her face telling him that she wasn't done with her incessant prodding. Her dutiful fiancée pulled up the rear, eyesight more focused than before but he was still too silent, even for him. With a shooting pain in his chest, the Doctor understood that look and feeling…he remembered feeling it the first time he met her too.

This body had never touched Rose Tyler.

It had never held its hand to hers.

These arms had never encircled Rose's body, enveloping her so tightly against him. These eyes had never seen her cry in sadness or relief.

So, if he'd never touched, seen, felt and smelled her in this skin…why did the whole menagerie of events seem to make his nerves sting, and his chest ache?

He pushed it away.

"Doctor-," Amy started.

"Now then! Always moving on…where to next," he yelled louder than usual, the words rushed from his mouth and he cringed briefly at the familiarity of those exact words from his previous regeneration. They attempted to drown out the oncoming questions. He smiled up to the ceiling, waiting for his new but still ol' girl and where she'd take them to next.

Where he expected a worp worp and a ding…he got, at most, a gurgle and then quiet. His brow furrowed as he looked to the console screen. She wasn't telling him anything - no messages were coming through. This was wrong and not just oh-look-gingerbread-house wrong (there was that pang again), it just…_couldn't_ be happening.

Amy leaned against the railing, "Something tells me…_that_ wasn't supposed to happen."

The Doctor ignored her, choosing instead to stare at another screen. He found that he wanted to look at Rory and fought each attempt at doing so.

"What's happened?" _Oh, so _now_ he speaks,_ the Doctor thought, surprised and yet not at the vehemence in his thoughts.

"Well, _Rory_, it seems that…," his forehead crinkled as the force dribbled out of his words, "something's gone wrong."

At that, Amy removed herself from the railing and straight towards him, and jabbed a finger at his shoulder. He winced and looked at her, slightly afraid of the ginger-haired Pond.

"_That _isn't very much information, _is it _Doctor?"

The Doctor moved away from her and joined Rory on the opposite side of the console…away from any future jabbing.

"I…don't know. New Tardis! New body!" he looked at Rory, waiting for him to agree (they were blokes weren't they? they were supposed to bond…or something). All he got was Rory's slightly panicked and entirely confused expression.

The Doctor pushed the thoughts that rushed in just then down low in his massive brain. Instead he let the realization kick in.

These humans knew nothing of his new Tardis and body. He suddenly felt quite out of place in his own ship.

xoxo

For the first time in this regeneration, he was tinkering underneath the console, below the clear floor. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and his hair got into his eyes. The Ponds were sitting at the opening, watching him.

"So, what is it?" asked Amy…and not for the first time.

The Doctor was about to open his mouth when Rory's voice stopped him, "I think I'm going to go look around." He pulled himself up as both Amy and the Doctor stared at him, the same baffled expression shared on their faces.

"What do you mean?" the Doctor noted a twinge of a familiar something in Amy's voice. He couldn't help but smile a bit at the tone.

That was until he comprehended what Rory had said.

"And just _where_ do you think you're going? Rule number one – don't wander off!" he hadn't meant to shout…but there it was.

Rory looked down at him and then at Amy, "There are rules? Seriously?"

_Was it so hard to accept that? No wonder no one ever listened_, thought the Doctor.

"Where are you going?" The tangent wasn't distracting Amy.

He watched the young man look at Amy with the same adoration as he had since the Doctor had met them. However, now there was hesitancy in the look – he looked eager to leave. This only made the Doctor's hearts beat a bit faster.

Looking at Amy and then back to the Doctor, Rory said, "I just thought…we're not going anywhere anytime soon…so, I just wanted to see…what was out there."

_Or who_, the Doctor concluded.

"You could go with me…," he suggested, looking at Amy.

She hadn't smiled or laughed once at him, which was odd for her. Tucking a strand of ginger hair behind her ear, she finally responded, "No…no that's fine. I'm sure you'll be okay. Just London out those doors." She looked at him as if she was doing so for the first time.

"All right, won't be long, I'll bring us back something to eat," he smiled down at them, bent down to give Amy a quick kiss on her forehead and then turned around to quickly walked to and through the Tardis doors.

The Doctor stared at the doors, fighting the urge to go running after Rory. He looked back to Amy who was also staring at the doors, a strange look on her face.

"Doctor?" she whispered.

He swallowed hard and croaked, "Yes?"

Her bright eyes were back on him, wide and full of…anger, confusion, or that something else – he couldn't tell. Maybe all three.

"_Who_ was that girl," it was no longer a question, but a demand.

The Doctor straightened up and tugged on his bow tie.

This…was going to be interesting.

He found that he highly disliked gingerbread houses.

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_Thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

_I love Rory :)_

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The rain was no longer falling, but the sky was the color of ash with puffs of bright white clouds scattered among it. The air had turned chilly and Rory raised the hood of his jacket over his head. He shoved his hands into the warm pockets and concentrated on each step against the cement. The puddles of water saturated the bottom of his jeans, but he barely noticed.

As glorious as the Doctor's brilliant machine was – he had wanted to take a break from being within its impossible walls. He had led a simple life full of Amy, family, work and fun…well, at least what _he_ thought fun was: spending time with the love of his life, having lunch with his friends when he had time, reading a book – just…_being. _That had been enough for him. He'd thought that would be enough for Amy too.

He chuckled. It sounded defeated and he hated that.

Rory knew that Amy would need more than just him and their life at some point and the Doctor and his time machine had more than taken care of that. Had he been foolish to believe that when that time came, he'd be welcomed to travel alongside her?

Turning a random corner, his forehead wrinkled in thought. The Doctor had invited him along – even seemed quite happy to…but Amy…well, she hadn't seemed quite so pleased about it.

And that hurt.

Even as they left the chip shop earlier, she kept hounding the Doctor about the girl they had met. What was her name? Rose, that's right. She had seemed nice. Yet again, however, it seemed so obvious that Amy had only been interested in getting closer to the Doctor…

Was it simply to get close or because of her insatiable curiosity – he wasn't sure anymore.

It would be a lot easier if the Doctor was someone he could hate. Rory couldn't bring himself to truly dislike anyone, let alone _hate_ them. But it wasn't even that…the Doctor was everything Amy described him as and more. He'd imagined that perhaps he'd be a bit aloof, and at moments he seemed as such, but...

Then there was the girl in the shop. And that…_that_ had changed some aspects of his character, at least – it had for Rory.

He was so consumed with his thoughts that he failed to notice the group of people lined along the sidewalk. Before he realized it, shoulders bumped accidentally against his, causing him to knock harshly against someone himself.

"Oi! Watch it there ma-," yelled a pretty, familiar voice.

Rory stood with his mouth ajar, his hands grasping the arms of the person he had rudely bashed against in an attempt to keep her from falling.

The angry look on her face dissipated into something completely different as soon as she noticed who it was that bumped her. In fact, it hadn't just dissipated, but morphed completely into a huge bright grin. Rory felt her body lose its tension under his grip. Abruptly, he let go of her, staggering a bit as he did so.

He smiled at her – unsure what to make of their encounter withoutAmy and the Doctor. He was pretty sure that she didn't know who the Doctor was as she acted rather indifferent to him earlier…but he, oh he most certainly knew who she was. How was that possible though? To forget the Doctor was like forgetting there were stars in the sky.

"Hi there, Rory," She smiled with that peculiar habit he'd noticed earlier, the pink tongue pressed against her teeth.

Rory let out a nervous-sounding chortle, "You remembered my name." He always found it strange when people remembered him as he didn't think he stood out enough for it.

Rose rolled her eyes and took a step closer to him, "Of course I do! I'm not one to forget a nice bloke's name, yeah?"

He saw a twinkle in her eyes and his smile widened at the sight of it.

"So, where are your friends?" there seemed to be more to the question than she was asking, but he didn't know what it was.

"Oh, my girlfriend and…," he had just been about to say 'the Doctor' but the alien's odd (and frantic) preoccupation with calling him so in front of this girl stopped him, "my friend are currently…fixing something…or other."

She looked at him oddly, a look Rory was accustomed to, her smile having dimmed. He didn't know why, but the look made him regret whatever had made her sad.

"Your…girlfriend?" she sounded disappointed.

Rory nodded. What he had wanted to say was fiancée because that's who she was _supposed_ to be – but he regrettably realized earlier that she hadn't called him her fiancé. Not once since their current adventure.

Rose's look then turned from disappointed to more than a little annoyed.

"Hold on then. You're tellin' me that your _girlfriend_ is with another bloke…_without_ you? And you…you're here, walkin' in the cold by yourself?" Rory could feel her anger on his skin causing it to prickle.

He wanted to tell her it wasn't like that, wanted to say that she had it all wrong…but as her words turned over and over in his mind – well, that was exactly what had happened, wasn't it?

She took his silence to mean the affirmative so with a quick shift she snaked her arm through his and tugged him along with her. Not knowing what to do (there _was_ a very pretty girl kidnapping him), he let his legs and steps follow her.

"Where we going?" he managed to ask as he felt her grip on him tighten just a bit.

Taking a long side glance at him, she told him in a very sweet, but determined voice, "You an' me, we're going to have a proper cuppa. Cuz it's not fair havin' a nice bloke like yourself walking around by himself clearly missin' his girlfriend."

It sounded innocent and Rory couldn't find anything to really protest to. She was being very kind to him and he needed someone to talk to just then.

Rose shifted her steps so that she was walking closer to him and Rory felt her drop her cheek to his upper arm, resting her head against him. Her warmth made his heart skip a beat.

"Doctor," Amy's voice dripped with exasperation, "I'm not going to ask you again…"

He cut her off before she could finish her thought, knowing all too well what was coming next, "Perfect! Then we can go find Rory…"

"No!" she shouted as she stood in front of him, blocking his path to the doors of the Tardis. The Doctor stared at her, surprised at her anger. He thought he'd seen her furious before…he was mistaken.

"Amy, this is very unnecessary…" he really, _really _didn't want to have this conversation with her. With _anyone._

"Oh, I think it is VERY necessary. It's BEEN necessary ever since we were in that shop today and the way you and Rory both acted like puppy dogs at seeing _her_!"

Now, the Doctor understood that she was upset. Upset at the fact that Rory had been blinded by the Rose-Tyler smile earlier and that he was probably out there looking for Rose at that very moment…

He tried to ignore the feelings that had been inundating him. If he wouldn't name them he wouldn't have to deal with them.

Either way, he knew she was angry, but hearing her fuming vehemence at Rose's mentioning made his blood boil and his body feel rigid. He had to remind himself that Amy didn't know. She couldn't possibly know.

"What does it matter," it didn't sound like a question, but it sounded like defeat. He hadn't felt that since his end and he wasn't very welcoming to the feeling again.

Her ginger hair shined brightly under the lights of the Tardis and her eyes widened with disbelief.

"What does it matter? WHAT does it MATTER?" the Doctor's hearts faltered with the pain at the sight of her. She reminded him of Donna just then with her bright fiery hair, fair skin and outraged [at him] expression on her face. The memory hurt him.

The Doctor simply stared at her, not knowing how she'd finally explode at him.

"It matters because…," she was holding onto something – something that wasn't coming too easily to her lips. Or maybe it was because it came a bit too easily and _that_ was what surprised her.

"Why does it matter Amy?" he wanted to hear her say it because she hadn't been letting herself say, believe and drown in it.

"It matters because he's _mine_! He's _my_ fiancé! And he's out there! Looking for _her_!" Her eyes had turned glassy with tears he knew she wouldn't cry. But they were there. The look on her face looked so familiar…not like Donna's. It was one that resembled Martha and Sarah Jane only slightly. And it matched Rose's almost entirely. But he knew that this time…well, this time it wasn't for him.

This time it was for the one that was left behind.

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_Hope you're enjoying the story!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Okay, how bad do I feel? Chapter 4 was supposed to be up last Monday! I updated lj but didn't update here! *sad* Good thing is that now you get two chapters :) Happy Valentine's Day!_

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The Doctor stood against the console looking at his companion. He remembered her as a little girl…red wellies and too-trusting eyes looking at him. Amy hadn't changed much except that right now she looked anything but confident and brave. It unnerved him to see her that way, but it made his hearts light as well. He could see plain as day how much she loved Rory. He could argue successfully that she had always known that she loved him too, but it wasn't until this moment when she realized just how much. It wasn't 2 AM at the corner waiting for taxi – but it was just as real.

He recognized the look of epiphany on her face as he had seen it on his own long ago. Back where he wore leather like a shield and had a gob that ran faster than his own legs. A gentle smile met his lips at the array of memories that greeted him. The Doctor had tried so hard to not think of these particular things since he'd been made new…but looking on at them now in his mind, they made his heart swell.

The Doctor could hear Amy's tears as they slowly fell from her eyes and down her cheeks. She wasn't sobbing or hysterical like one might imagine her to be – no, the strong admittance of her feelings…the true depth of them had shaken her to the core. Thoughts of an empty Tardis, a goodbye with too many of the wrong words flashed in his mind. His smile dimmed.

Forcing himself to move, he took soft steps to where Amy was against the rail trying fruitlessly to erase the tears. She could swipe at them, but they wouldn't go away. Not really. He laid a gentle hand on her shoulder as he looked on at her in sympathy and understanding. She wouldn't look at him, but she didn't need to. The Doctor leaned in closely to her ear, wisps of hair moving slightly with his breath.

"Amy, Rory _is _yours…no one is going to take him away from you," he knew it was the truth…the young man was head over heels for her. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling of there being something else to all this that he simply did not like. It was always the feeling he got whenever Rose picked up a pretty boy.

_But Rory isn't a pretty boy, that other one was but not him…._, he tried to comfort his thoughts but then an even louder, more truthful voice stomped down on them.

_**Look who's talking, big ears**_

He looked up at the ceiling, having grown used to the gentler hum of the Tardis and not her continued frustration with him.

But she was right…

_**Of course I am**_

He glared at the console.

Quiet.

But she was right, Rose did have the most interesting of tastes…

"If it's nothing," Amy's frustrated voice interrupted his thoughts, "then _why _won't you tell me who that girl is?"

She looked at him pleadingly. It was a simple question for her really, _Who is Rose Tyler?_ But for him it was more than a question. Her name wasn't just a name – it was a life, memories…it was always something more.

xoxo

Rory warmed his chilled hands around his steaming cup of tea. Rose had led him to a nearby spot where she'd sat him down at a table and bounced off to grab the drinks for them. On the way there she'd remained close to him and it had felt rather nice. He hated to admit it, but it was good to feel grounded somewhere by someone's touch. Amy had always been that for him – but since the Doctor had come back into their lives…it just seemed that those moments were far and in between. Her touch never failed to do that to him though.

But maybe his touch just didn't do it for her anymore. The thought made his heart hurt.

He placed his cup down and stared into it without really looking at it.

"Rory?"

The sweet voice made him shake away the dark thoughts,"Yeah?"

"Nothin', just you looked so sad. Had to distract you," her smile was warm and sweet. It was different than the one she had flirted with earlier – but just as beautiful. Rory wondered momentarily who she was to the Doctor – a hard question to ask her when it was obvious she didn't know him. Yet.

Smiling at her, he said, "Thanks. Don't mean to be rude…just my mind is…elsewhere," he saw a flash of disappointment on her face and realized how he sounded, "Not that this isn't great! No, that's not…I mean…" How did he always manage to stab his foot in his gob?

She surprised him by chuckling, such a happy sound, "That's all righ' I know what you mean. Rather be with someone else, yeah?"

Her wide amber eyes were so empathetic and just…sincere that he forgot for a moment why he was so upset. His mouth, instead of its sad pout, regained a sense of ease.

Rose smiled brighter in response, "That's more like it, bit of a smile."

Still grinning, they each took a sip of their tea. The silence felt interesting to Rory. Instead of feeling awkward or the need to fill it – it felt natural to just let it happen.

"So, tell me about your girlfriend," the words flowed easily, but Rory sensed a hint of wariness in them, "why is she with your…_friend_...and not with you?"

Ah, the popular question of the day.

"Oh, well, he's dealing with things that only she can bear to understand right now. I had to get out of there for awhile." He took another drink.

She raised an eyebrow at his last sentence but appeared to ignore it, "I understand. That's how I get sometimes with my mum and even with my mates." She trailed a fingertip along the sugar crystals that had fallen on the table top between them.

That's when Rory looked at her. _Really_ looked at her. She had a playful youthfulness about her – her fingernails covered in bubblegum pink, her purple zip up and bright pink top peeking through. She wore a pink gloss on her lips, but other than that her skin was pretty fresh without need of anything else. But as much as everything screamed happy and fun – her eyes said something else. He knew nothing about her, but for some reason Rory got the idea that she'd been through more than she let on.

"So, enough talking about me, what about you?" a newfound energy surged through his words.

Her fingers stilled and returned to her cup. "What about me?" Her forehead crinkled in confusion – as if no one had asked her the question before.

"Well, it just seems that I'm all we've talked about since we've met – doesn't seem fair."

Rose smiled half-heartedly, "Nothin' much to say really. Live with my mum, go to school…have some good mates… I'm only sixteen." She let out a trickle of a laugh as if her age should explain everything. Which it did – but it couldn't explain the look that stirred ever so often behind her eyes.

"Nah, I'm sure there's more to it than that," he took another drink.

She smiled at him and reached across to cover his hand with hers. The touch startled him and instantly he felt himself flush as her warmth seemed to radiate oh his skin.

"You're very sweet," she whispered – the loud sounds of the shop surrounding them in the background, "but nothin's happened to me yet. Don't even have a boyfriend."

At this Rory laughed, "No boyfriend? Yeah, right."

Rose smacked his hand lightly and then pulled back to have a drink of her tea.

"Oh yea', because that's so impossible to imagine is it?" she snickered.

"It sorta is, yeah," his voice had turned serious, his heart beating fast, almost in his throat. He had meant the words of course (how someone could be so pretty and sweet be unattached? It didn't make sense), but he hadn't meant them to come out….like _that_.

He saw her cheeks blush and her eyes avert his. She looked so cute.

Sudden thoughts of Amy hurried in his mind and his words rushed out, "I mean, it's just the truth. You're very nice," he flinched at his own lameness.

Rose giggled, "Thanks, you're very nice too," she looked up at him and the joviality of her laughter was gone, and in it pure seriousness, "Your girlfriend's lucky to have you."

His heart beats quickened, but he managed to strangle out, "And whoever you choose to be with is going to be one _very_ lucky man."

Her teeth shined under her smile, her pink tongue pressed against them.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," it really was as simple as that.

They each took another drink from their cups, smiling contentedly.

xoxo

"I don't understand what the big deal is! Why is it so hard for you to just talk about who you are?" her words were accusing and felt like slaps. He had tried so hard to keep everything inside. The Doctor had a new face, new Tardis – it was his chance to leave the heartache behind him. He didn't want to have this conversation with Amy Pond. With anyone.

"It isn't necessary for you to know," his voice was low and perfectly thought out. It was also the kindest way he could tell her to _back off_.

Amy stood up and walked to his perch against the console. She took a step nearer to him than was necessary so that her face was only inches away. For a second he was afraid she was going to try and kiss him again, so he was preparing to duck out of the way, but no, her look didn't look fevered in that way. It looked like a whole other kind of eagerness.

"Oh yeah? If it's unnecessary, then you won't mind if Rory is out there with this Rose girl," the Doctor felt his blood begin to boil, "…who knows _what_ they're doing…," his hands turned into fists, white knuckles against the sides of his torso as he crossed his arms, "they could just be talking, or maybe having fun…without _us_…"

"That is ENOUGH!" his voice was loud above the hum of the Tardis.

Amy's eyes grew wide with surprise and slight fear at the sharp edge of his words. Slowly, she backed away from him.

His chest felt heavy with the beats of his hearts and something else. Something that was coming undone.

Without a word or a look her way, he walked away from her and down the corridor.

Amy stared at him long after he disappeared in the dark of the Tardis. She could feel tears starting to sting her eyes. Tears because she'd obviously gone too far with the Doctor and for the worry she'd made a big mistake with Rory. She felt just about ready to crumble when the sound of the door made her turn around.

"It's just me," Rory walked through the door, smiling his Rory-smile and completely oblivious to what had just happened.

Amy broke into a run and tackled him before he could walk up the ramp. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. She felt his arms encircle her, his hand rubbing gently at her back. The tenderness made her feel relieved and at home.

"Amy, what's wrong? Where's the Doctor?" his voice sounded worried.

She detached herself slightly to kiss him. She felt his surprise but instant response to her touch following close behind it.

Amy attempted to deepen the kiss but stopped when she noticed that Rory was trying to talk.

"Amy, what happened?" the worry was etched in his words.

She didn't know what to tell him. The mistake she'd obviously made even if she had no idea what it was. So she did the only thing she could think of…

After again tackling him against the doors, she hugged him even tighter.

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_Hope you like - onto the next!_


	5. Chapter 5

The silence was hurting his ears. He could hear the crackling of the fire and the low hum of the Tardis. She was trying to comfort despite being irritated with him earlier. The Doctor stroked the wall behind him – the motion keeping him calm.

He hadn't meant to snap at Amy. He'd gotten used to the freedom (well, the one he pretended to have, he realized that now) from being upset and in pain. All of that had happened to his Ninth and Tenth regenerations. Although he missed aspects of his past selves (a smiling blond from the estate and black leather jacket came to mind), he'd been relieved that at least in becoming this version of himself, he'd gotten rid of the pain and angst that had driven him before. But here it was, back again. That familiar dull ache was no longer a reduction of something greater – it was in full force, crushing his insides.

Firelight played against his skin, and the shadows of the library flickered. Amy had hit a sore spot. He wanted to think that it was too soon for any kind of digging into his past – but he knew that it seriously did not matter when…_Rose_…would be brought up – anytime would be too soon. His mind flashed to earlier with the young blond-haired girl who had become his everything simply ignored him. The Doctor knew it was inane to think that he'd be anything to her at that point since she hadn't met him yet – but to completely ignore him?

It wasn't that he didn't understand. It was that he understood all too well.

As much as Rory remained in the background, quiet and humble – the Doctor knew there was something more. There was always something more when it came to the ordinary. He wanted to remind Amy of that. She'd become immersed in this life of his much too quickly. Even the glimpse that she received as a little girl had altered her human existence. The Doctor had wanted to remember that there was more out there than aliens and history – because after all, someone had to make those facts, produce the memories and ideas that kept him traveling through time and space. Time was lost in the Tardis – an irony that he didn't allow himself to think about – and he didn't want it to be lost to Amy. He wanted this especially when she had someone like Rory waiting for her. Someone who had been trying to live up to an impossible myth since he was a young boy. Rory didn't deserve to be made second choice.

The Tardis rumbled slightly under his touch – a reminder the Doctor didn't need.

Mickey hadn't deserved second choice either – but as much as he felt he should own up to the fact that he hadn't done this for him back then, the Doctor couldn't and _wouldn't _say or even think that he regretted it. He'd been selfish in keeping Rose to himself, but he didn't care. He'd do it again.

Amy needed to be reminded that there was beauty in the everyday, a hope eternal. It was something that he needed to be reminded of when he'd met one Rose Tyler. Even after everything she had seen, she still saw beauty in the simplest and most "normal" of things.

Smiles, steaming hot chips, the color pink, hugs and handholding. Rose had reminded him of just how extraordinary the ordinary could be.

That's why she had noticed Rory. A pang of hurt edged through his nerves.

He knew that he would give a quick apology to Amy. Whether or not he would give her the answers she wanted – that remained unknown. The Doctor figured that he should probably talk about it to someone, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

How could he begin to explain who Rose was and would _always_ be to him? In describing her to another, she'd seem like a myth – the legend they both were meant to be _together_. Anyone listening to him would think that he was hopeless, remembering only the good things about a human girl. Rose wasn't perfect, but neither was he or anyone for that matter. She'd reminded him of what good someone could do. She cared about him, had crossed dimensions for him – she loved him.

And how could he begin to say where she was and who with? How would he say that even though she had jumped those dimensions for him, probably almost dying for him, he'd left her behind? He wouldn't even know how to explain his human double to them. He was something that couldn't be explained easily – one would have to talk to him and with time come to understand. The Doctor knew that by then Rose would have known. Of course she would. It wouldn't have taken long to understand how much of him had gone into his double. All the love and devotion that had lingered for so long under his skin for her, the desire and want he'd had in his hearts for her had seeped through to _him_. It didn't mean that he no longer felt it – quite the opposite in fact. It simply meant that he had more than enough to give.

The Doctor brought his hand back from smoothing over the wall. With an arm on the armrest and the other laid across his stomach, he stared into the flames of the fireplace, the flickers dancing across his skin.

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_A short Doctor introspective piece - had to be done. Hope you enjoyed!_


	6. Chapter 6

"I did something bad Rory," Amy's voice sounded small and feeble in his ears. He rarely saw her that way and it made him hurt along with her. Her hands were cold in his as he rubbed small circles into her palm. Part of him was afraid to ask what she had done – but figured that by the way she greeted him, it couldn't be too bad.

"What happened?" he asked for a third time.

She looked up at him. They were sitting at the kitchen table sipping tea. Her eyes were red from tears he couldn't see.

Taking a deep breath, she began, "I kept…bugging him to tell me about the blond girl in the chip shop…" Amy laughed…an empty sound. Rory figured that she probably thought it was absurd that such a simple request could cause any problems.

He knew that Amy had a habit of curiosity and that sometimes it came off too demanding, but people usually gave in to her charm. But Rose must be a sore spot for the Doctor. Rory remained quiet, waiting for what would come next.

"He just got…_so_ angry at me. I was upset and you know how I get…," she tilted her head, her eyes wide and focused on only him.

Rory smiled and with his other hand reached to her, cupping her cheek. He loved her beyond anything he could understand. Of course he knew how she could get.

"Don't worry, love. I don't think it was what you said, necessarily, that upset the Doctor," Amy smiled at him and held her hand to his against her, "don't get me wrong, you _really _shouldn't prod like that…"

She smacked him lightly on his arm, feigning offense, but her smile gave it away.

"Oi!" her smile dimmed slightly, "and what do you mean, it wasn't what I said? What do you know that I don't?"

Rory looked at her with an eyebrow raised as she had just pointed out her own bad habit.

Sighing, she looked down at the tabletop and then back at him.

"Sorry."

He smiled at her and brought his hand back to the table, covering both her hands. After a moment, he answered her question…sort of, "I just think there are some things he doesn't want to share – and it's nothing against you or anyone else. He may be alien…but he's got feelings and memories that go beyond us. We don't know what happened to him before he crashed into your yard."

Amy seemed to think over what he said before finally saying, "I hadn't thought about that."

Smiling at her, he got up to fill up his cup and started fixing another.

"What are you doing?"

Placing the cups on a tray he got from the small cupboard from above the sink, he turned around slowly so as not to spill the tea.

"I think the Doctor might be thirsty," he hoped his voice wouldn't give away the odd sympathy he felt for the strange man.

Amy smiled, stood up to refill her cup and then followed Rory down the corridor where they both knew the Doctor was hiding.

xoxo

The Doctor was still as he stared into the flames in the fireplace. He felt numb with the memories that had washed over him in a matter of mere seconds. How could he begin anew when he felt the pain as fresh as he had those days when he had lost her? Every time he lost her.

The sound of his young companions coming into the library woke him up from his dejection. He smiled half-heartedly at them. That may be the most he could muster as an apology. Always a coward, him.

Amy averted her eyes from him. Rory, however, was looking at him a bit too intensely. He looked at him as if he was looking for something. The look startled the Doctor. He hoped he hadn't found or talked to Rose. As much as the past pained him, he didn't want anything or _anyone_ changing his memories with Rose. That was his life with her and he was territorial about anyone coming near it. Especially someone that could very easily change it with just a few words or actions.

The Doctor tried to tramp the pain of jealousy he felt just then. Everything he had experienced and known and he could still feel the sting of that particular emotion when it came to Rose. He'd tried to ignore it since they first saw her, but it was near impossible. He felt it as keenly as he did with Mickey, Adam or Jack. Felt it almost as strongly as he felt when she'd kissed his double.

The memory of the cold sandy shore of Bad Wolf Bay, Rose with tears in her eyes as she realized that, once again, he was leaving her behind, flooded his mind. In that look he'd seen something he hadn't remembered seeing in her eyes before – it told him that she wasn't surprised.

No, he couldn't think about that now.

"Thought you might like something to drink," said Rory as he set the tray on the table in front of the Doctor and handed him the mug. Amy sat on the other end of the couch he was on, and Rory settled on the floor near her. The Doctor noticed that Amy's hand magnetically settled itself on Rory's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. Rory's left arm draped over her leg. The image brought a smile to the Doctor's lips despite his own sadness.

"I see that all is right with the Ponds then." His voice held a happy relief, but he wasn't quite sure for whom.

Amy smiled at him and he could see that she understood that it was the best apology she was getting from him.

"Yeah…even though he forgot to bring us something to eat like he promised," her tone was teasing as she ruffled Rory's hair.

"Actually, I was going to tell you two…," he stopped suddenly, as if remembering something.

She looked at him confused, "Rory?"

Rory glanced briefly at the Doctor and then back at her, "Actually, do you mind getting some of those biscuits I like? I have a surprise but I'll wait to tell both of you until you come back – promise."

Amy's forehead wrinkled in further puzzlement, "But you finished those biscuits last night…remember?"

The Doctor looked at Rory, remembering how he had in fact finished the biscuits the night before, much to his own disappointment – what was he getting at?

"Oh, that's right…I _really _wanted some of those biscuits…," he trailed off.

"That's okay, I'll go buy some – we should stock up anyway if we're leaving soon. It shouldn't be hard to find – we're in London after all," she smiled down at him.

"You don't mind?" the Doctor watched as Rory looked up at Amy, his concentration falling to her lips. He knew what was going to happen next and so he averted his eyes back to the fireplace.

After Amy kissed him softly, she turned back to the Doctor, "Need anything Doctor?"

He smiled at her, "Some Jammy Dodgers if you can find them."

"No problem, be back in a bit," and with that she kissed Rory one more time before standing up and walking out the door.

The Doctor looked at Rory. The two men just stared at each other for an innumerable amount of seconds before one of them spoke.

"So, what did you do on your own private adventure," the words came out sounding more cutting than he expected them to.

Rory stood up and settled himself where Amy had been sitting. He turned towards the Doctor.

"I was just walking, thinking about some things and then I bumped into the young blond girl from this morning," there was an edge to his voice that the Doctor hadn't heard from him before. It wasn't meant to be hurtful, but there was something else lying underneath it. It made his hearts quicken their beat – this time in fear.

"Oh?" was his only reply.

"Yeah, do you remember her? Name's Rose. Lovely girl. She took me out for a 'cuppa'," the edge was gone, but he was staring at the Doctor too deeply.

The Doctor felt his nerves sting with pain. Of course she would have. He couldn't look at Rory and instead chose to spring up out of his seat.

"Well then, maybe we should go scrounge up something to eat, come along other Pond," he was about to cross the room and out the door when his companion's voice stopped him.

"Who is she Doctor?" Rory's voice was barely a whisper. There was sympathy and understanding without knowing etched in his words. They were different than when Amy had asked them.

He turned around to face him. The young man's eyes implored something from him. He felt his stomach churn slightly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," his last ditch effort to remove himself from the situation. He knew by then that it was pointless to ignore it since he heard the pain in his own words.

Rory looked at him with eyes full of such human emotion. They reminded the Doctor of why he enjoyed their company. Such fragile beings but they held so much inside of them.

"Yes, you do," and with those simple words coming from between Rory's lips – the Doctor understood something about him. The _something_ that Rose had seen from the beginning.

Rory was different than others. He didn't need to prod and poke for information – he let people just be. It reminded the Doctor of Rose and the comparison made his chest hurt because at least Amy could keep her Rory.

The Doctor also realized something else – Rory seemed to understand something that Amy couldn't from meeting Rose. Perhaps no one could truly understand the Doctor's pain unless they had met her as well.

How else could they comprehend just how much he had lost when he lost her?

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_I've used that last line before...but I think it needs repeating. Hope you enjoyed!_


	7. Chapter 7

_We're coming up near the end - one more chapter after this one :(_

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"Did you…did you mention my name to her?" sudden fear gripped the Doctor's insides. He stood near the door, staring at his companion, the passing of seconds between them. Amy would be back soon.

Rory stood up and took a step towards him in some hurry, "No! No no, I didn't. You didn't let us in the shop earlier so I figured…" he shrugged his shoulders as he trailed off.

The Doctor nodded. Of course he wouldn't. This was considerate and loyal Rory – he caught on quickly. He cleared his throat with a rough cough, "Well then, I guess…" instead of finishing he walked to the couch, gesturing that the young man should do the same. He quickly sat down - eager to listen to whatever the Doctor had to offer.

Once settled - both men were quiet and contemplating the other. After awhile Rory couldn't quite stand it anymore, "Doctor, who is Rose?"

The Doctor fiddled with the buttons on the cuffs of his shirt.

"You tell me Rory, why do you want to know so badly? Why does the other Pond want to know?" he knew he was prolonging the story he knew he would eventually share with him. He wouldn't share all of it, not even most of it with him – but enough so that he'd understand. Hopefully enough to quench the thirst for a bit.

Rory looked at him incredulously, "Are you kidding? I - and I know this goes for Amy as well - have never seen you so…worked up over any particular person before! You didn't joke with her, didn't introduce yourself – you brought absolutely no attention to yourself….and considering it's you Doctor…"

"Hey! Sitting right here, I can hear you, you know," He began fiddling with his bow tie.

He sighed, "Right, well, it's still my point. I've spoken to her, so I know she doesn't know you – but it still doesn't explain…"

"Fine! I'll tell you," the Doctor sighed in exasperation. He looked down at his hands. He didn't want to look at Rory or anyone or anything for that matter. All he wanted was to run away, like he always did.

Rory remained quiet, waiting.

"Rose…_this _Rose, wouldn't know me because she hasn't met me yet. She…I…we met when she was a little older and I was wearing a different face." Wistfulness took him over as the memories played in his mind like a slideshow. He could sense that Rory was about to ask about that, but he continued – that story would be for another time.

"I met her a long time ago. She became my….friend and companion. We traveled together, saving lives and time. She saved me. Every time," he could hear the tenderness in his voice. His throat felt tight with emotions he hadn't let himself feel for awhile. It was so overwhelming that he felt he wanted to cry, but wouldn't – of course. There was so much more to Rose. But how could he begin explaining it all? How could he share with someone just how extraordinary she had been and would clearly always be?

There was no one that had touched him the way she had. Rose had come crashing into his life, quite unexpected and turned it upside down and back again. She'd cared about him and had sacrificed herself and her life a multitude of times…just to be with him. The realization never ceased to pain him. He'd hurt her, he knew that and yet, she didn't stop believing in him.

His hearts hurt suddenly at the idea that maybe that wasn't the case anymore. Flashes of tears and the hurt in Rose's eyes as the icy wind caused strands of her hair to whip gently around her face on a desolate beach flooded his mind.

He felt Rory lean forward on the couch, "Were you two…together?"

The question always made the Doctor uncomfortable, but not for any reason that others might think. Their answers had always been that they weren't like that. And the truth was that they just _weren't_. Not the way others believed them to be anyhow. It had made him uncomfortable each time because when the question was asked he had to fight the instinct to say 'yes.'

Rose wasn't his. He had never staked a claim to her – never one that mattered in the end. He knew his actions would scream it. The look in his eyes demanded it. But no…he never really did. In the end another part of him, one that he'd never get to enjoy, had that privilege.

Were they together? He didn't know how to answer anymore.

And so the Doctor remained quiet.

Rory coughed and tried again, his voice a whisper, "Did she love you?"

He took a sharp intake of breath. The Doctor hadn't been expecting that question and it felt like a punch in the gut. But still, the answer came easy.

"Yes," his voice cracked and his throat all but closed up. Moisture prickled his eyes and he continued to stare at his hands which were now tightly clasped in his lap. Rose had loved him. Loved him. Loved.

As much as he wanted Rose to live her life to the fullest with his human double, he hoped that she thought of him once in awhile in a happy nostalgic way. One without pain or regret. One without anger. He hoped that she thought of him.

Rory's voice disrupted his misery.

"Did you love her, Doctor?" His voice told the Doctor that he already knew the answer. The question was merely a gamble to see if he'd validate it.

"Yes." The word flowed effortlessly from between his lips.

The library was so silent that not only could one hear the crackling of the fire, but a pin would have made an echo.

"Where is she?" he whispered, almost afraid of the answer.

The Doctor sighed and finally looked at his young companion.

Instantly, he saw the response in Rory's face. He looked at him in sympathy and pain. A part of him was appreciative of that.

"She's…,"again, he was unable to put into words what had happened to her…what he had done to her, but could not fully regret, "she's…not with me. That's all that matters." There were some things that he wouldn't talk about.

Rory nodded, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

Both of them heard the Tardis doors open and Amy's voice muffled in the distance.

Unusual nervousness took a hold of the Doctor as he stumbled over his words, "Rory, don't…it's not that I don't trust her, but can you…"

"Don't worry Doctor," he smiled a genuinely caring smile and not for the first time, the Doctor was happy that Rory Williams was his newest companion. He couldn't handle a plethora of questions about Rose and her whereabouts. All he wanted was to leave this time and place and continue trying to move forward…leaving Rose's memory intact where it would always be.

"Hello there my men," Amy came bouncing in and stopped to kiss Rory on the lips as she made her way between them to sit down.

She settled the market bag on the table as she dug into it bringing out its packages.

"Some biscuits for Rory and the very particular Jammie Dodgers for the good Doctor," she handed him the package, smiling a still-apologetic smile at him. The Doctor took the package and smiled as happily as he could.

"Now," she settled herself against Rory, her head dropping to his chest, "you were going to tell us something…as to _why_ you didn't bring us any food…"

Rory choked slightly on a biscuit he'd quickly unearthed from the box. His eyes grew wide and fearful towards the Doctor.

He felt his hearts falter – whatever it was, he could already tell, this was _not_ good.

"Uh, well," it was Rory's turn to stammer.

Amy settled her hand on his knee, obviously unaware of her fiancé's state, "Come on already! What's the big surprise?"

He let out a chortle of a laugh, no mirth in it whatsoever, "Well, I…um…we got invited to a…a party and well…that's why I didn't…buy any food….there's…supposed to be plenty of food at the…at the…party," he stuffed what was left of the biscuit into his mouth, so as not to speak, figured the Doctor.

"A party! Where? That sounds like fun," Amy smiled as she sat up to look at Rory properly, "Rory! What's wrong, you're going to choke on that!"

Rory's eyes were wide in alarm as he painfully swallowed the huge lump of biscuit, "Um…well," he looked towards the Doctor, his eyes suddenly apologetic. The Doctor could almost feel his hearts stop, possibly taking him into regeneration as Rory let his next words flood out.

"Rose…the girl from the shop that I ran into again, invited…_all _of us to her party," his eyes were on the Doctor's, waiting for his reaction.

The Doctor let his head drop back, hitting the wall. The Tardis rumbled beneath his scalp in a persistent, but soothing way.

_Oh, bugger. _

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_Must say, I'm looking forward to the next chapter :D_

_I'm looking forward to getting to all your reviews soon! _


	8. Chapter 8

_Last chapter folks - hope you've enjoyed it :)_

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The Doctor barged into the console room, trying yet again with the pressing of levers and buttons to dematerialize from the time and place. The Tardis, however, had other ideas.

Not a sound, not even a whisper.

Amy and Rory came running in after him. After Rory's announcement, the Doctor had wasted no time in rushing to the console. The young Pond looked over at her fiancé, worry etched in her fair features. She looked back to the Doctor and raised a hand to settle on his back. The Doctor quickly moved away from her.

"Doctor, what…what's wrong? It's just a party – something to eat," she didn't want to come off as too nosy, knowing full well how badly that worked with him.

Rory came up closer to the Doctor, getting in his way and making it impossible to move past them both. "Doctor, we don't have to go…I'll get us something to eat and we'll just stay here and see how we can help you fix the Tardis," he tried with all his might to calm the Doctor. Had he known who Rose was to him, he never would have accepted her invitation as quickly as he had. He could have kindly declined, feigning some rush of leaving. How could he have known who she was?

The Doctor felt his hearts beat ferociously against his chest. His bones ached and his head was pounding. The breath in him was rushing in and out, his chest heaving. He knew it was nothing dire and that he was exaggerating. There was no way his future with Rose would be jeopardized, now that Rory knew what had happened between them. So why was he on the verge of panic?

He stared at them. First at Amy, the confused look on her face appeared comical and yet not. She was worried about him and he wanted to tell her not to be so that they could just move on but he wasn't so sure what was happening to him. Somewhere outside those doors, a young Rose Tyler was living her life without any interruption from him. Nothing was going to change that. Still, he felt a strange overwhelming feeling inside of him.

He then looked at Rory, his knowing and sympathetic look telling him that he just had to say the word and they would ignore this. Rory could make this happen, he could make Amy leave it alone. So why wasn't he telling him that's what he wanted?

Instantly, and with a mental nudge from the Tardis, he suddenly understood why. The Doctor staggered a bit, falling into the console room chair behind him. The reason why he couldn't tell Amy anything about being all right and why he wouldn't be telling Rory he wanted to ignore it.

It was because he honestly wasn't all right and he didn't want to run away and ignore anything. He knew it the moment Rory had said that they'd all been invited to Rose's party.

The Doctor wanted to see her. It was selfish and it was unnecessary, but those things had never mattered to him much when she was involved. He had rules, very explicit rules for everyone around him and himself – but they quickly dissolved whenever she was around. He wanted to be in her flat at the Powell Estate once again – to breathe the air she was breathing. He'd make sure that her future was left untouched as he needed it even more than even she did. Oh, he was being very selfish – but this was an opportunity he couldn't let go.

Amy and Rory rushed to him, afraid that he'd gone more than a bit mad. He smiled up at them, a faint and defeated smile.

"So, what time is the party?"

xoxo

The trio walked down the sidewalk, Amy and Rory holding hands and the Doctor clutching a distressed package of Jammie Dodgers in his hands. His palms were sweaty and he smiled that even in a new body, Rose was still making him feel emotions that only she could manage.

They walked without conversation, the Doctor unknowingly leading the way. Amy had looked at Rory more than once at how the Doctor could possibly know where the party was located. Rory would smile at her, happy that his blunder had been more than welcomed by the daft alien in the end. He'd even changed his bowtie – for some reason choosing to wear one that was blue and decorated with lighter blue swirls.

The Doctor stopped abruptly and looked up. The Powell Estate. He smiled in it's wake, relishing the fact that even if it wasn't happening for him, somewhere his Ninth self was crashing into Rose Tyler's life – forever changing them both. For the better.

He could think of everything he could have done and would have done differently. He could obsess over whether or not she hated him now, but he chose to believe that she was happy.

The Doctor chose and wanted to believe, and honestly truly did think, that Rose Tyler was somewhere very happy with the Tenth human Doctor. He smiled at the thought.

There would always be pain at what he'd lost. A part of him would make him fear that he had disappointed her one final time and at his lowest moments he'd bring out those thoughts again – but for now…for just one night, he chose to believe different.

"We're here," his whisper was loud in the quiet darkness. The sound of music was wafting from above. His heartbeats quickened.

"Great," exclaimed Amy, making her own choice to stop being nosy…at least during this adventure, "now, can you tell me why you decided to bring that sad looking package of Jammie Dodgers, Doctor?"

He smiled at the cheer in her voice. The Ponds were holding hands and would kiss whenever they could manage it. It was the way things were supposed to be and he was happy they had realized it as quickly as they had.

"Isn't it a human custom to bring the hostess something?" his smile widened as he walked ahead of them to the stairs inside the building.

Amy dragged Rory along, huge grins plastered on their faces.

Once at the right level, the Doctor just stared at the all too familiar door to the Tyler flat. Rory stood next to him with Amy at his arm.

"Go ahead Doctor, knock."

The Doctor looked at the young man, a panicked look in his eye. He coughed and said in a hurry, "Remember, don't call me the Doctor, don't mention a big blue box that travels in time and if you need to call me anything, call me John."

Hurriedly, he knocked on the door before he could lose his nerve.

Amy looked at the Doctor, "John? Seriously? Such a boring name, the next thing you know you're gonna want us to add a Smith after it."

The Doctor turned to her and was about to protest when the door suddenly swung open.

He felt the words die in his throat.

Rose's blond hair was straight and looked impossibly long as it hung down her shoulders. A strand of it was in front of her eyes, taunting him. She was wearing her mascara heavy and dark – a pang of the past hit him in between his hearts. Her lips were glossy and pink, looking almost swollen. Her skin, as fair as it had always been was inviting to the touch. She was wearing a shimmering purple top that seemed to tie behind her neck and back. It was slightly raised in the front, showing a patch of her stomach. It made his mouth go dry.

She was wearing black jeans and sneakers with a plethora of colors decorating them. Pinks, blues and purples swirled among them.

But what was the very best was that her mouth was brightly set in an exquisite Rose-Tyler-smile. He had fought to look at her before in the chip shop, but found that he couldn't and wouldn't let his eyes wander from her this time.

"Hi! So glad you could make it. Come in, make yourself at home," she stepped aside letting them in. Amy and Rory walked through, smiling at her in thanks and stood staring at the scene. There were people all over the flat, smiling, laughing and drinking. The pair edged to the side, unsure if they should leave the Doctor.

The Doctor walked in last, staying close to Rose. He held the package of biscuits closer to his chest.

She closed the door behind him, "There are drinks and nibbles in the kitchen, and the loo is through there. Rory said you were all leavin' soon so, just have a good time!" Her smile was infectious and they all mirrored her joviality.

Amy called out to the Doctor over the music, "We're going to get some drinks and nibbles Doctor. We'll bring you something!" And then they were gone.

He was torn between following the Ponds and staying close to Rose. He'd been unsure of human social activities when he was with her, choosing to follow her league when he wasn't unknowingly insulting those around him. He had no one to follow this time.

"You all right there mate?" her sweet voice engulfed him. The Doctor smiled at her, trying his very best not to stare. He was failing miserably.

"I'm all right," a party guest jostled him as he walked past, reminding him of his gift, "oh, right. Always customary to bring the hostess something I believe." He handed Rose the sad looking package of Jammie Dodgers.

Rose looked at him in surprise and laughed sweetly as she took the pack from him. "That was very nice of ya'. Don't think we met properly before," she stuck out her hand, "Hi, I'm Rose Tyler – and your name is…"

The Doctor's grin widened and he reached out his hand to grip hers. The touch of her skin against his made his skin prickle and his mouth to go dry. He could see stars behind his eyelids.

"John. Just…John," his voice was a whisper and his eyes were tracing over each angle of her face.

Their hands lingered together longer than necessary and the Doctor took much glee in that and the fact that she had been smiling with her tongue against her teeth at him.

"Well, Just John, I hope you have some fun…and thank you for the gift," she chuckled, glancing down at their clasped hands. She let her arm droop so it felt like they were holding hands and not so much shaking them in greeting anymore.

Someone called out her name and she let go of him abruptly. He felt a cold emptiness where her touch had been.

"They must of run out of ice or somethin' Be right back," she tugged on one of his suspenders and smiled as she made her way through the crowd.

The Doctor stared after her, the huge smile securely planted on his face.

Amy and Rory made it back with a plastic cup of something brown that tasted rather horribly. He thanked them and set it on a shelf near to him. The pair had decided to dance and invited him along, but he shooed them away, happy for them to spend some time together.

As they made their way to the middle of the room, he noticed with some sadness that Rose had yet to come back. He stood on the tips of his toes to see if he'd catch of a glimpse of her and he did…but it made his smile quickly disappear.

An older boy wearing a leather jacket (nothing like his old one) was standing over her, almost pushing her into the wall near the kitchen. Rose wasn't really protesting so he felt it unnecessary to go save her. It didn't stop him from wanting to, however. The Doctor quickly felt his rage boil his insides. The only thing that kept him from running and launching himself at him was the fact that it would mean interfering with Rose's life. He forced himself to look around and in the process took notice of another familiar face.

Mickey Smith was watching the same ordeal that had the Doctor wanting to remove the leather-jacket-wearing idiot from Rose. A familiar look of jealousy flitted across Mickey's features. That's when it all made sense.

Rose had not started dated Mickey yet and this leather punk must be the ever-infamous Jimmy Stone. This revelation made him want to go yank him off of Rose even more, knowing full well what pain and misery he would eventually put her through.

But he forced himself to look away from them both. He couldn't interfere no matter how much he wanted to – not if he wanted to have the future he would eventually have with her.

The Doctor glanced at Mickey and pleaded with him silently to take care of her until his Ninth self came along.

His hearts feeling mangled and lonely, he made his way down the short corridor to what he knew was Rose's room. Making sure no one was watching, he quickly opened the door and slid inside.

In the moonlight, he could see everything that Rose loved and held dear. Photos of her and her mother littered a tabletop, joined by one lonesome photo of her father holding her as a baby. Good ol' Pete Tyler. It made the Doctor smile that she would someday meet him again.

The room smelled of fresh flowers and he recognized the familiar perfume bottles on her table. Bottles of brightly colored nail polish, the odd trinket. She would add to them in the future.

The future. It made it hurt a bit less.

He was so lost in a memory as he looked at the small clutter of books on a shelf that he failed to noticed that someone had joined him.

"They aren't much…," said the familiar voice.

The Doctor startled and turned, coming face to face with the object of his thoughts.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…I mean…," he stammered and felt his nerves tingle at being in her room with her…alone.

She smiled half-heartedly, "No worries." Her voice seemed sad all of a sudden.

He looked at the down turn of her mouth and found himself missing her smile tremendously. Technically he'd been without it for awhile…but it never failed to surprise him just how much he missed it.

"You were saying that they aren't much…," he wanted her to keep talking, anything to hear her voice before he'd have to say goodbye to it again.

Rose looked at him and back up at the small collection of books, "I was sayin' they aren't much, but they're mine."

He watched her as she stood staring at the Adams and occasional Bronte and Austen.

"Well, I'm sure you'll have more than enough of them one day. A whole collection of them," he smiled with the memories of her happiness at seeing the Tardis library for the first time. The joy he'd see every time he'd be looking for her, only to find her reading amongst the books.

She laughed, clearly not believing him, "Thanks, but I think there will be more bills and trinkets cluttering the shelves instead of books," she turned to look at him, finding him watching her, "but things can change, yeah?"

The Doctor wanted nothing more than to tell her that it _would_ be different. That not only would there be trinkets and books cluttering her shelves, but that the shelf would be in her proper home – no longer her human one.

But he couldn't tell her that, so he responded the only way he could, with a simple, "Yeah."

They heard the shouting of her name again outside the walls of her room. She rolled her eyes, "They can never do anythin' without me apparently. I should go." Rose turned to walk to the door, but the Doctor reached out and grabbed a hold of her wrist, keeping her there.

She turned and looked down at his hold on her, and then back up at his eyes. Those eyes that must have seemed so very odd to her as they were both old and new.

"What…," she started, but didn't finish.

Without a word, he inched closer to her but still held onto her wrist. His free hand reached up and cupped her cheek. It was warm under his cool touch and he wanted to close the distance between them. The Doctor wanted to kiss Rose Tyler like he had wanted to do thousands of times before. To kiss her the way she had kissed _him_ on Bad Wolf Bay that final time.

Final time for them, but the first time as well.

But he couldn't and wouldn't kiss her. It would never stop at a kiss, not when it was her and him. A kiss would never be enough.

Maybe that's why he had never kissed her – not in a proper way, that is, with the lingering moment before and after and everything it was supposed to bring them. He knew it wouldn't be enough and then what would he do when she'd leave him or if something were to happen to her?

It was too late for these questions. He just wanted to touch her.

Her wide eyes stared up at him. He knew she was waiting for him – but he couldn't so he let his arms drop and the feeling of her touch was soon gone. He took a step back and smiled at her as best as he could.

Rose let out a breath neither knew she had been holding.

"What was that for then?" she wasn't angry, but she seemed to want to know why he had stopped.

The Doctor shrugged, as nonchalant as he could, "For everything to come."

Confused at his enigmatic answer, she smiled nonetheless and stepped toward him. She stood on her tip toes and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek very near his mouth. The Doctor felt his hearts hammer horribly wonderful against his chest.

She whispered near his mouth, "For everything to come."

Rose dropped to the heels of her feet and softly tugged on his bowtie.

"Nice. Bowties are cool, this one especially," she winked and with one last glance made her way out of the room, the call of her name ringing in his ears.

The Doctor was on his way back to the Tardis, the feel of Rose's lips against his skin lingering still.

It was long after that he heard the pattering of feet on the sidewalk after him. He didn't have to look behind him to know it was the Ponds.

"Doctor, are you okay?" they both asked him simultaneously, causing them all to laugh.

"Oh, I'm just fine, great night for a party," his voice was low and happy despite not being able to keep Rose with him.

"Think the Tardis will be up to another adventure?" Amy asked, happily snuggled up against Rory, making for an awkward but funny walk.

The Doctor laughed heartily, his ship's cleverness long since revealed, "Something tells me that the Tardis will be up and in another dangerous adventure in no time."

They smiled at each other and walked in companionable silence.

The Doctor was more than happy to leave but even happier to have had it happen at all.

And he just knew that Rose would had loved the bowtie.


End file.
